Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
40s are totally the cure
I just gargled with NyQuil
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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