this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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