Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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