I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
