Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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