mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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