I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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