as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
