apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
