So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
