I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
