I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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