I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
