Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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