you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
