i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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