TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
