What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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