my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
