a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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