Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
