tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
