working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
