Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
