My girlfriend figured out who you are.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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