My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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