I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
