So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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