I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
