Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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