that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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