I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
