my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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