dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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