Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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