I got chris browned last night
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
