Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
