EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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