That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
