I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
