i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
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Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
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