He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
