it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
