it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
