1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
