do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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