is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It was confusing and full of hummus
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
