If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
