Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
