HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
