Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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