So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
