Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my poor anus
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
