yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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