I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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