naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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