Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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  (310): My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra http://tfl.nu/y9he
  Replies (62) Good night (9805) Bad night (1233)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.

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  (617): it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together. http://tfl.nu/iel6
  Replies (42) Good night (885) Bad night (3547)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels

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  (514): I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels http://tfl.nu/u0pv
  Replies (7) Good night (2979) Bad night (1104)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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  (620): new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either http://tfl.nu/a5gg
  Replies (3) Good night (2226) Bad night (922)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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  (605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe
  Replies (12) Good night (4332) Bad night (1152)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true

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  (409): It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true http://tfl.nu/wq1h
  Replies (9) Good night (1039) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again

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  (218): i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again http://tfl.nu/hrm5
  Replies (5) Good night (895) Bad night (1917)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about

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  (309): And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about http://tfl.nu/0jvp
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos

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  (330): I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos http://tfl.nu/fa4z
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

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  (217): I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think. http://tfl.nu/6ltd
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (756)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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  (720): Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay? http://tfl.nu/yxii
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (512)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (707) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.

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  (601): So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking? (1-601): Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity. http://tfl.nu/35ca
  Replies (2) Good night (996) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No this is saxophone Chris

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  (804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2
  Replies (10) Good night (1464) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.

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  (505): No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back. http://tfl.nu/rjsp
  Replies (0) Good night (117) Bad night (277)

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