Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  it wasn't lemon gatorade

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  (703): it wasn't lemon gatorade http://tfl.nu/yeyb
  Replies (22) Good night (1448) Bad night (18065)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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  (703): i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days! (804): Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us! (703): well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted. http://tfl.nu/ybes
  Replies (48) Good night (5937) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then

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  (651): I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then http://tfl.nu/awn6
  Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (4362)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass

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  (408): I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass http://tfl.nu/h161
  Replies (17) Good night (1326) Bad night (4464)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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  (307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn
  Replies (11) Good night (6466) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.

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  (780): Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance. http://tfl.nu/w65a
  Replies (17) Good night (3336) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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  (603): I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities http://tfl.nu/wabu
  Replies (6) Good night (3337) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night

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  (409): Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night http://tfl.nu/3ybg
  Replies (2) Good night (2389) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Breakfast tacos?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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  (832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw
  Replies (17) Good night (3052) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"

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  (404): The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class" http://tfl.nu/r5he
  Replies (4) Good night (2336) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.

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  (416): There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist. http://tfl.nu/x1kf
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass

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  (281): I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass http://tfl.nu/c4rp
  Replies (9) Good night (1330) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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  (206): If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever. http://tfl.nu/y5vi
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.

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  (480): Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too. http://tfl.nu/o5er
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.

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  (407): With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again. http://tfl.nu/l988
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (254)

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