me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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