You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude