Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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(904): View more from Florida

Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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(917): View more from New York City

But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

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(513): View more from Ohio

well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.

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