Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(805): View more from California

she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k

Replies (12) Good night (1293) Bad night (1513)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

(917): View more from New York City

this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

(917): View more from New York City

he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

(718): View more from New York

messed up. what color are the wings?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0

Replies (11) Good night (2162) Bad night (516)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god http://tfl.nu/7ezr

Replies (21) Good night (6285) Bad night (738)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket" http://tfl.nu/imu3

Replies (13) Good night (9220) Bad night (1027)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work http://tfl.nu/9l6e

Replies (20) Good night (7232) Bad night (1490)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself. http://tfl.nu/c8lm

Replies (12) Good night (1324) Bad night (3787)
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

there were a lot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld

Replies (29) Good night (6441) Bad night (990)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20. http://tfl.nu/e9d3

Replies (10) Good night (4029) Bad night (855)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9

Replies (3) Good night (1620) Bad night (869)
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k

Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (656)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year http://tfl.nu/1qcg

Replies (1) Good night (2263) Bad night (501)
Favorite
(604): View more from British Columbia

Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(604): Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days (1-604): Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days http://tfl.nu/vv75

Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (280)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods http://tfl.nu/yq1a

Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (258)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it. http://tfl.nu/ubme

Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (253)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now? http://tfl.nu/ffln

Replies (0) Good night (575) Bad night (286)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: