i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
