There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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