ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
