No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
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