I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need a beard to bite.
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