I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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