K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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