Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize