the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He better not be in your backpack
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
