Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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