His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
