It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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